Look Into A Mirror.... What Do You See?

There comes many a times when we feel down and out. We let our thoughts overpower us and remove our motivation to move forward. Our human nature works like that. We tend not to be able to rationalize on our thoughts but if we do not make an effort to think for the better, we head down the path towards depression. 

Sometimes, we feel like the best thing to do is give up
Sometimes, we feel like being alone is the best thing for us
Sometimes, we feel like walking away will ease the pain
Sometimes, we feel like vengeance is the only justice.

To explain this, allow me to recap a moment I shared with my friend. He's recently engaged to a girl he met in college and they've been going out for a couple of years now. I know many of your would be thinking, "So what? Everyone starts in a relationship sometime and somewhere."

You see, his relationship, like many others out there, is filled with arguments, mistrust and cold wars. I can't blame him. He was somewhat of a popular guy back in high school and even in college. You'd see him on social media garnering tonnes of likes and also being reputable among the general public. Finally, he met a girl whom he pursued a relationship with to this date. He recently proposed to her on her birthday and she said yes. 

However, it began to dawn on me that perhaps his decision was too hasty. I had noticed that each time I met him and his girlfriend, they would not be talking. I would hear stories of arguments and jealousy to the extent that he needs to go out for a drink with some friends after his girlfriend goes to sleep. 

At a mamak stall one day, I decided to ask him, "Bro, do you think you should have proposed so fast? Forgive me for being so intrusive but relationships are meant to be happy, not constant arguments. Are you sure you are willing to go through that for the rest of your life."

His answer left me wide-eyed and jaw dropped. 

It is true that I have a relationship that goes up and down like a stormy sea. But this stormy sea will test how strong my boat is. You see, many people would choose to hurt their significant other or even abandon their boat at the slightest view of an impending storm. By walking away, you show not that you are smart but that you refuse to make an effort to fix the problem, you are destined to abandon your boat to sink. 

There are times when she does not trust me, or that she cries over the past, time and time again. My illustrious past has changed for a more committed life. Despite that, I have fear each time there is a problem. Each time she is sad, she is angry or she is worried. Why? Because I fear that she feeds herself a problem which isn't really there but she perceives it to be. She will continue to distrust me and argue with me each time to the day I die. 

But I will still love her.

Dumbfounded, I ask him why through all the constant arguments and pain, he is still willing to go through that with her, this time in holy matrimony. With a smile, he answers:

There are more than 6 billion people in the world. Of that 6 billion, I fell in love with her. Now tell me that is not significant enough to need a marriage. Besides, the true measure of a relationship is not how perfect it is but how the two of you survive and improve on the imperfections. 

I began to see the point and truth in his words. His final advice for all of us in a relationship?

~Look into a mirror and tell me what do you see?~

Till my next post, cheerio.




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