Sometimes, going online and seeing the things I never wanted to see can be really demotivating. I thought this would all be behind us but the truth of the matter is that it is not. I don't usually use my blog as an avenue to lash out my feelings because as of present, I am so good at hiding and bottling them up that it no longer seems to bother me. However, I would like to share these thoughts of mine because I happened upon the reasons why
Quite recently, a few of my friends and acquaintances have undergone some relationship strains to the extent of breakup. However, the road leading to it seems to be something predictable and to some extent unrepairable. To give an analogy, one of the first things you will notice when a relationship is undergoing strain is the lack of communication between the couple. Once there were messages full of love are now replaced with cold messages of hate and contempt. This in turn will put further strain on a relationship. Eventually, the couple begins deleting photos of each other, hoping that it will make the other return to their arms. It doesn't. All this does is add on more strain in the relationship. Finally, the breakup happens. Then, it is all over.
My father, despite being an average businessman, possesses some of the greatest philosophy I have heard. He always told me, "Never show all your cards in a game." By saying this, he always stressed that the more of myself I reveal, the more defenceless I become. This words I live by have kept me ahead of the game and ahead of success to this day. Until this very date, there are things about me the world will never know. But I call this leverage to keep me ahead.
When it comes to relationships, the reason it is strained is not because of the couple itself only but by the external factors that go into it. One thing that modern couples like to do is to share their strained relationship with the world (i.e. social media). At that point of time, every Tom, Dick and Harry who knows about it will suddenly become love consultants. They will become experts in advising the couple (does anyone realize that this is the start of the breakup)?
From what I have seen happen to friends; a mistake committed but there is a chance of rescue for the guy. He makes amends and tries to patch things up. The girlfriend on the other hand moves to fast, upon hearing of the mistake, jumps the gun and shares the problems with the world. Before the guy can make amends, he is bombarded by threats from the girlfriends buddies, calling him a jerk and an ungrateful punk. The girl is then advised by numerous 3rd parties on how, "There are better men out there." Eventually, the girl refuses to listen. The guy begins to lose hope and under strain, accepts the terms proposed by the girlfriend. The fall apart. Behind the scenes, another of his friends who has been close to the girlfriend comes in as a hero to wipe away her tears. Making the right move has gotten him into a relationship with his friends girlfriend, all because he saw the girls message on Facebook.
Quite a shame that was as they were so happy together only to be brought down by third parties. I have to admit, there has been many a times I was poisoned by words by not only my enemies but also by friends whom by significant half holds dear. To some extent, it hurts but it has made me ever more tougher and stronger. I don't contemplate suicide or running away because if something is worth it, you would not even condone it. To this date, I still hear news of people trying to break my relationship apart. Perhaps people do not wish for me to be happy.
I always believe that for something to happen, there is a reason behind it's existence. For example, when a person gets fired from a company, the reason usually is because of underperformance. Despite sometimes the situation being rather rough, the person is fired because keeping that person will bring more destruction to the company than it will bring benefit.
Similarly, for a relationship to prosper, it must first be strained. Being in a relationship is not about who does more for the other but to coexist despite the differences and beliefs. It is about undergoing each hurdle, both bad and good and making the most of it. I envy the older generation who have been through centuries of a relationship. It is them who give me hope that a lasting relationship can occur.
Perhaps one day, the younger generation will understand the value behind a relationship. Not just to show off to the world but to hold and cherish to their dying breath.
I am reminded of a quote of what a relationship is all about:
Until my next post, cheers.