The photo albums lay abundantly placed, like memory cards, storing all the memories no longer remembered by the humanly defected brain. Some photographs remind me of times not to long ago, and some even remind me of a time that my brain was not even developed to remember. I flipped through, examining each one of those photos with great detail. Pages after pages I flipped, and a chronological order of the timeline showing this woman holding two little baby boys, each barely a pound heavy to a the time the two boys became men all played out.
“My oh my, whoever these two kids are, they must be really lucky to be cherished, loved and cared for by this woman,” I thought. “Oh, you have no idea how true that statement is.”
It seemed like every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, this woman would be there for these two boys. The love this woman gave the boys were immense, insurmountable even by the power of the universe. A force of love so great that no one, not even the force of the entire world will be able to break it. Her sacrifice, dedication and effort will never be able to be repaid. No matter an eternity, nor alpha and omega. A debt which will never be paid, but a legacy which will be carried on, through the generations to come.
There were many moments leading up to now which I remember so vividly now. I close my eyes and reminisce, with tears in my eyes, of all the greatest moments I have shared with this great woman.
When I was 2, you brought my competitor into this world. I had to share everything I had with him. I was so miserable of his existence with him receiving more attention than me that every ounce of hatred coursed through my veins. From throwing a book at his head, to pushing him down, to taking away his toys, as long as he was sad, I was happy. It’s hard to believe that someone so young could be such a sadist. Eventually, I got to love my competitor. A strong sense of affection and bond grew and it became an unbreakable bond. All I know is, I now call him brother. I remember my first feeling of pain when I was 4. You had just driven the Volvo in and the exhaust pipe looked so interesting, I grabbed it and pulled and instantly, by skin burnt. You ran out of the house only to see me crying. How amazing it was that you used so much Colgate on my hand to soothe the pain. From then on, I always thought you were a magician.
When I was 5, you sent me to Tenby International School. It was the “best” and “most expensive” school in Ipoh. This was the earliest stages of exposure to people which I can remember. I had my first “crush” here. I remembered being a such a horrible cry baby that the pre-school teacher had to ask you to take me home. You patiently taught me momentary separation. You made me feel that even though you were not physically there for me, your strength and love would always be there inside me. For the year ahead, I soon adapted to being away from home. You taught me diligence, passion and dedication towards my studies. I may not be the best student in class but I did score the better half. Without you, I would not have been able to achieve that level. Throughout kindergarten, you taught be about my first “crush.” It was quite interesting, but it seemed I was a bit more attached to my guy friends. I remembered how happy I was when you attended my final year school recital. As I look back, I felt quite embarrassed to dress up like a Spice Boy. Those were tremendous learning years in which you have bestowed upon me.
When I was 7, I entered primary school. I still hadn’t given up my cry-baby characteristics. I was afraid of all those with power, greater than me, teachers and adults especially. I was a really shy boy but you taught me how to be sociable. I was bullied really badly in my primary school year, coming back home, covered in mud or with a torn shirt. You would sit down and wash the wounds on my body and in my heart. You would wipe away my tears and lick my wounds. But you taught me that I cannot keep running away from difficulties. You taught me to use my head, to steer away from fights and to focus on my priorities. Every time I fell sick, you would spend countless sleepless nights making sure my body temperature does not escalate. As I slept soundly, you stood steadfast waiting for the day I healed. I remembered being bullied by parents too and you would be so fired up that you wanted to rip that parent into pieces. Luckily you didn’t because bums like that are not worth getting angry over.
When I was 13, I entered high school. By then, your training of how to be independent really took place. When all other students had their parents enrolling them, I was one of the only ones who could do it on my own. I was no longer afraid to face adults or anyone of superior power. However, I still held on to the nice guy attitude which you had always taught me. Once again, I was bullied in high school. It did harm me emotionally though, but you would always sit down with me to listen to all my problems. You never sent me for martial arts training but you had always taught me to use my head and think of a solution. By the time I was 15, I was already towering at 6 feet. I had the tem gentle giant all the way until a punk crossed the line. You had always taught me to stand up for what was right. I felt sad that you worried that I will always be bullied. I wanted your worries to end. I remembered this punk, barely 5 feet 7 inches spitting at my shoe and my face. I came home that day, with a smile on my face, knuckles on both hands bruised and bleeding. I told you that it was mosquito bites. But I guess you didn’t believe it. You taught me that violence was never the answer. I learnt regret that day. I’m sorry.
When I was 18, my SPM results were not perfect. It’s true, I was a true Che Guevara back in my high school years. The saddest day came when you sent me off to college. I was afraid. I was 200 miles away from home and for the first time, you were not there with me. I remembered what you taught me 13 years ago. Though you were not physically there, your strength and presence will always be inside me. Using that, I pushed myself through college life. I promised you that I will succeed in college. You called me up every night to check whether I’m fine or not. The answer would be the same. Though there are times I was down but I tried my best not to tell you, I never wanted you to worry. Bur somehow or rather, you always knew when I was sad and with every phone call, you would always leave me an inspirational parting message to keep me going.
When I was 19, I saw you happily attending a college function since my enrolment. My graduation from Foundation must have been an eventful moment for you. I had promised you I will succeed. With 2 Dean’s List honours, I dedicate to you for it was not my effort which got me that, but the hope, trust, love and faith you had given me. Without your constant care and advice, I would never have made it this far. That I am really sure of.
As I open my eyes, this woman has been there since my birth and will be to the day I stand on top of the pillar of society. She will continue to drive me forward. There are times when I take her for granted and times when I get angry at the pressure she has placed upon me. At the end of it, this woman has done everything for me, not for her. I regret sometimes at my immature actions. I wish I can turn back time and take back those hurtful words I used against her. It’s so hard to understand. No matter how much I get angry, she will never pass on judgement or hate towards me. She will always love me and care for me, nurturing me, like it was her lifelong mission.
This woman so great, there is nothing greater which surpasses her. A woman so great, we only have one of them. A woman so great, we call her:
Happy Mother’s Day, mummy. Thank you ever so much for everything which you have done for me. I love you so much and I always will^^