What The %#$@?!?!?!

Well, here's something I would like to point out. My Add. Maths tuition teacher once said to me, Paper 2 is always harder than Paper 1. Should've taken her more seriously. 25th November 2009 marked one of the darkest days in Add. Maths history not only for me but I can safely say, a vast majority of Form 5 students sitting for SPM. Science stream students to be exact. It's a known fact, if you've tried all the past years SPM questions that somehow or rather, Paper 2 is indeed more fun and relaxing to do as compared to Paper 1. But still, it's basically opinion and self based.

Paper 1 for Add. Maths ranged a clear sign for superiority among all of us. Seriously. it was something which made 'kacang puteh' look like a rank amateur. I held my head up high, confident that Paper 2 would secure ultimate victory for me. I could smell it, the sound of the band playing, "We Are The Champions!", as I clench my fist, sticking it up to the world proclaiming total triumph over a long feared subject. But I should've paid attention, to the Grim Reaper standing by the door brandishing his scythe, waiting to proclaim his own brand of justice.

Returned for Paper 2 at 2.00pm, only to be greeted by the greatest shocker ever. Even as I read the instructions, my smug still lay inscribed on my face. I can do it. I will live!! The grim reaper still stood, waiting. Waiting for the precise moment, to hit where it hurts most. The instant the exam began, with a swift swing of his scythe, he beheaded me. My smile immediately turned into a frown. The band, the victory parade, all disintegrated.

"GOOD GOD!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?!" These words kept ringing in my head.

One by one, students began throwing in the towel, leaving with a dead look, after conceding defeat. At the end of the paper, I left the hall, with an army of dumbfounded and shocked Fifth Formers. Life just stood still for me. Will my record be destroyed? The straight A's I've always got since primary.
What kind of a sadistic madman would do such a thing? It's not even comprehensive to what we normally do. It dealt a harsh blow on all of us. But l felt the full brunt bear down on me. My air supply hit zero. My pulse hit the flat line. Sweat trickled down my forehead. Fear, anger and disappointment overwhelmed me.

A conversation between me and Walt, much later :

Me : That's it, gone case already.

Walt : Why la? Got so serious or not? Face pucat like 'sei si' or something.

Me : Of course la! I ter-died already. Mampus la my exam slip.

Walt : Why you care la? You already got an award with full tuition waiver. No need scared la.

Now that's something which really pissed me off. The reason I got the award is a whole different story. So what if I'm a leader? So, what if I'm 1 of 20 students from all over Malaysia to get it? It is a different segment of my life. Must be a compulsive habit of mine. To achieve supremacy. Well, heading down to INTI on the 22nd for the award ceremony and Youth Empowerment 2009. Plenty of foreign delegates present. Hope to meet an Estonian if I ever get the chance.

Back to present time. All in all, I'm really disappointed at my performance. Hence, it explains my reckless driving style after school. Sorry daddy, I nearly totaled the Merc. New lesson learned, never drive if ever under the influence of anger. It can cause the ultimate loss...at such a strategic time? Heh! Heh! After doing other states trial papers and scoring well above 85%, I felt the confidence build up inside me. Enough for me to promise my tuition teacher that I'll succeed with distinction. Guess I was wrong. I was dead wrong. Sorry teacher, I didn't expect this to happen.

All I can do now is sit back and hope for the best. May God bless us all. Still, will I ever pull out of this sorrow and misery? I say........


Anyone care to turn this into a reality? It'll really be doing a big favour for us all.


Aaron Oo said…
Thomas, you got learn how to chill. And i'm sure the paper wasn't that bad as you imagined it to be. Haiz.

It's quite normal to react in that manner. Yeah you know that string of A+, to be honest, won't be applicable after you are doing your foundation. It's because you're aiming for something else.

Later on, when you meet up with friends, you won't be asking them how many A's that have obtained. You'll be more of like reminising the good old days.

During my exam days, we got bombshells too. So it's quite normal to see you reacting like this. Tell yourself this - it's not the A's that count but your effort to conquer the exams. You know that you have already tried your best so why worry? Not that you left the papers blank. If you left it blank, then i'm speechless.

So you are down with 2 more papers - physics and chemistry. Just do you best in these and after that enjoy the holidays! Cheerio and take care.
SJ said…
one more!

A smile from SJ =)
Thomas Liew said…
Thanks for the great advice Aaron. Well, you have a rather great point there. But I'm rather afraid of not being able to succeed. I'm afraid of being stomped upon. Heh! Heh! True, I didn't leave my papers blank. XD! Really though, thanks for the great advice. It's really helped me to feel at least a whole lot better. Take care and God bless.

Sue Jean :
Thanks for the comment. =)

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